Remember in the movie, Men in Black, when the older MIB (Tommy Lee Jones?) had the new MIB flashy-thing him, telling him all the horrid stuff he wanted to forget?
Yes, I've been enjoying my job some more. The other day I had a car pulled over across the street from the Bingham Co-op (a gas station and farm store). A guy came running across the highway to me and said his car had just been stolen from the Co-op. I let my speeder go (lucky him) and went over to the Co-op. The guy had parked his 86 Mercury Marquis in the lot, left the keys in it, and he and his 3 buddies had gone in for drinks. They came out and the car was gone. The cameras at the Co-op didn't show anything of what happened. I started filling out paperwork and they said, "I think it was the guy in the Caddy that stole our car." A rusty older Cadillac was parked by the pumps. It had been there since I got there. I ran the plates and had dispatch call the owner, who was quite the jerk on the phone but told them it had been taken yesterday and he didn't care if he never saw it again. I checked the cameras in the store and the guy put gas in it and left. The clerk said he paid with a check. The check was in the name of the car owner. I called the number on the check and talked to the grumpy old guy. He was really out of it, but I got out of him that he had been to the Co-op for gas. I asked how he got there and he said he drove his Cadillac. I asked how he got home and he said he drove his Cadillac. Ding! Big old car, Big old car.
I drove out to the guy's house. There was the Mercury sitting in his driveway. There was the grumpy old guy from the gas station video sitting on his front step, naked as a jay-bird and drinking the last drops out of a bottle of vodka. Now do you get the flashy thing reference?
He was drunk. He started to yell at me, so I called for another unit (so I got 3 running code to me!). I asked where his caddy was and he said "In the driveway" (that's the G-rated version of his answer, as will the rest of his words be). After I had him look, he realized it wasn't. I told him what had happened (he got gas, was drunk, got in the wrong car, drove home). He became the morose drunk and started to moan about what had he done, etc. Then he re-became the sphincter drunk and started yelling again. I called the owner of the car to come get it. The other officers arrived, we got naked drunk guy in the house and had an ambulance come check him out. Anyway, he was a very interesting conversationalist (let that last line drip with heavy sarcasm). We left him sitting naked in his house and I went and had his caddy towed (that'll cost him several hundred dollars).
In the words of Steve Martin, "I get paid for doing this!" Mind you, he gets paid a heckuva lot more than me, though.
Anyway, just thought you may enjoy a laugh! I think that's the fastest I've ever cleared a car theft (actually, joy-riding).
7 comments:
So very funny - still laughing. So what did he end up being charged with?
Nothing... the car owners didn't want to press charges, they were just happy to get their car back. He'll get charged, though... about $250 for his towing! :)
Oh Rick...that is one great story!!! I'm sure it's days like this one that make your job all worth it!
You ought to send it into Conan or some other show...don't they usually showcase things like this?
Lol! What a great story, although I wouldn't mind borrowing the flashy thing to erase a few mental pictures.
After catching up with you on your blog, I remembered a quote I found that you may like. I want to give it to people who blatantly disregard the laws and speed recklessly or do other stupid things that you get to deal with probably too often in your line of work. I know I'm not perfect, but there's too many people out there who think they are better than the law. Anyways, the quote is from Heber J. Grant and he was in turn quoting Abraham Lincoln.
"The following quotation from Lincoln with respect to the observance of law is worth repeating often:
'Let every American, every lover of liberty, every well wisher to his posterity, swear by the blood of the revolution never to violate, in the least particular, the laws of the country, and never to tolerate their violation by others. As the patriots of 'seventy-six' did to the support of the Declaration of Independence, so to the support of the Constitution and laws let every American pledge his life, his property, and his sacred honor. Let every man remember that to violate the law is to trample on the blood of his father, and to tear the charter of his own and his children's liberty. Let reverence for the law be breathed by every American mother to the lisping babe that prattles on her lap. Let it be taught in schools, in seminaries, and in colleges. Let it be written in primers, in spelling books, and almanacs. Let it be preached from the pulpit, proclaimed in legislative halls, and enforced in courts of justice. In short, let it become the political religion of the nation.'"
So it's a little long, but I thought you'd enjoy it!
I liked that quote. Thanks!
Rick, that's the funniest thing ever!...or close to it :-)
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